How do you know if your relationship partner loves you? Do you rely on how you feel when the two of you are together? Do you know because you are told? What is the proof of love?
Often couples that I work with speak of knowing exactly when they fell in love and this knowing is frequently the reason for beginning a relationship. We knew as soon as (fill in the blank) that we were going to get married. Who doesn’t enjoy an amazing love story? And we know what happens next: there is a beautiful wedding, with beautiful pictures, funny stories to tell, and babies (although not in every situation and not necessarily in this order). Then reality kicks in.
A couple that I am working with has hit the wall of reality after 3 years of marriage. Finances, scheduling, work, and the end of the honeymoon have become real characters in their story of love. Like so many other couples, they are questioning if their story is coming to an end with statements like, “I don’t know if he still loves me” and “I can’t tell if she loves me anymore”… Even though they say, “I Love you” every day!
I tell this couple that Love is demonstrated through behavior. What do you do to demonstrate loving each other? What is the evidence that you love each other? In other words – Show me the Love in your story!!
Surprisingly, they both had a difficult time answering these questions. When I asked for the evidence, I was told, “There is no evidence that I love her, but I do” and “ I can’t think of any evidence, but I’m sure it’s there.”
Picture this couple before a judge in a courtroom and their testimony is “ I love him/her, I just can’t prove it because I have no evidence.” In the courtroom of relationships, evidence proves your case. If you have nothing to show maybe you should rethink your claim!
If there is no proof – maybe it doesn’t exist!
Effective communication can lead to Effective demonstrations of love!
“98% of success is support – I’ve got your back!”© – DE
Open Soul Communication