I met with a young man yesterday that wanted guidance in defining his pathway in life. He had made many attempts to go to college only to drop out over and over again. He had experienced an illness early in life that forced him to miss a great deal of school. I should mention that this young man is very bright and so much of his identity is tied to his intellect and being “the smartest kid in school.” Needless to say he was devastated when he lost that status due to the illness. Thus his relationship with school went from loving and supportive to hateful and judgmental. Now that he is 22 years old, his relationship with school hasn’t changed which is why he participates in this approach-avoidance pattern with college.
I asked this young man to look at all of his relationships – including the relationship with himself – and tell me what he sees and how he felt. He revealed that his mother worked a great deal when he was young and he felt alone, being teased for being “the smartest boy in school” made him feel alone, when he got sick he felt alone, when he lost his status at school he felt alone, watching his friends and roommates succeed in college makes him feel alone, starting and stopping college makes him feel alone, and accepting that his mother is terminally ill makes him feel alone. Most importantly, the relationship with himself lacked love. He didn’t know how to tell the people around him that he was scared and lonely and didn’t understand why it was important to share how he was feeling.
How many of us are afraid to share that we feel alone?
Communicating what we feel and why we are feeling that way creates a pathway to healing wounds that have the potential to destroy everything we want for ourselves.
During his Open Soul Session, this young man allowed himself to be honest about his feelings and shed tears that he stuffed for 10 years. His fear began to subside and he understood that he was no longer alone.
“98% of Success is Support…I’ve got your back!”-DE ©
Open Soul Communication